The LPA Fantasy Fairy
This blog is inspired a conversation I had with a client’s son. They contacted me to say they were worried that their Mum thought that having a Lasting Power of Attorney meant everything would be magically “sorted out” - no further action needed. The son, who I’ll call Paul, said “Mum thinks there’s some kind of LPA Fantasy Fairy - that once she fills in the form, everything in the future will just magically sort itself out.”
This image is provided by Unsplash.
At first, I wondered if this was nodding to a potential lack of capacity. Was Paul suggesting his Mum didn’t fully understand what the Lasting Power of Attorney was for? But as we talked, it became clear that capacity wasn’t the issue at all. What he meant was something I see time and time again, his Mum believed that completing the form, and the form alone, would be enough to secure all of her future care decisions.
This belief - that drafting the Lasting Power of Attorney is a complete plan in itself, is a persistent myth I encounter.
It’s an enticing idea, but it’s not true. A Lasting Power of Attorney without any discussion is like handing someone a play without a script. It gives your attorney the authority to act, but absolutely no guidance about how you want them to act to support you or potentially make decisions in your best interests.
The reality is much more nuanced. The power of a Lasting Power of Attorney doesn’t lie in the form itself—it lies in the conversations that sit beneath it. It’s the talking, the exploring, the revisiting, and the updating that give the document its meaning. When people assume the legal form is the safety net, they’re missing an important point. The form is only the framework. The safety net is the understanding your attorneys develop through honest conversation revisited over time.
People often want to “get the Lasting Power of Attorney done” because it feels productive and finite. A task to be ticked off but a Lasting Power of Attorney, on its own, has limits. It only comes to life when it’s supported by meaningful, ongoing conversations. Without these, your attorneys have authority, but no clarity. This is why I always encourage people to consider the wider ecosystem of Advance Care Planning: an Advance Decision to Refuse Treatment, an Advance Statement of Wishes and Preferences and emergency care plans like ReSPECT. Each plays a distinct role and fills in gaps the Lasting Power of Attorney doesn’t cover. Even just starting with conversations about What Matters Most is valuable.
Advance care planning is not a one-off task. It’s a process. A new diagnosis, a new relationship, a new perspective—any of these can shift our values and priorities. To leave your attorneys with an outdated or unexplored understanding of your wishes is to leave them with guesswork.
When I eventually sat with the lady whose son coined the phrase “LPA Fantasy Fairy,” we had the kind of conversation that gives this work meaning. We talked about what mattered to her, what frightened her, what she hoped for, and what she absolutely wanted to avoid. We explored scenarios she’d never considered and preferences never voiced aloud. As we talked, the shift happened and the form became secondary. The focus moved from the paperwork to the person.
And that’s the heart of it. The Lasting Power of Attorney Fantasy Fairy promises that the form alone will protect you, but the truth is that protection comes from connection, communication, and clarity. If you rely only on the document, you leave your loved ones guessing. If you talk openly, honestly, and regularly, you give them the gift of certainty.
So, if the Lasting Power of Attorney Fantasy Fairy visits you, appreciate the sparkle - but don’t believe her promise. A completed Lasting Power of Attorney isn’t the final step. It’s part of a process. Talk early. Talk often. Make sure the people who may one day speak for you have heard your voice.
To find out more about my Lasting Power of Attorney service, Advance Care Planning Education or support for people facing a life changing diagnosis, contact me
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