#155 Dani & Clare talk about Honest Language when someone may be approaching the last days of life

Exploring words and busting myths associated with palliative and end of life care. Over the course of 10 podcasts I am delighted to talk with Dani Ayre, we focus on a word a week and challenge commonly held beliefs. Why? Because words matter - you will hear the impact of myths around words and we’ll share valuable resources.

In our final episode of this season we talk about words used when someone may be approaching the last days of life.

This episode closes the current season. I’ll be back on the 6th of April with more fabulous guests and Conversations About Advance Care Planning.

Key messages

• We open by talking about a societal shift reflecting death and is now dying hidden behind hospital walls

• Many clinicians still avoid clear language about dying, using euphemisms like “poorly”

• Evidence shows people are more distressed when death and dying are not discussed honestly

• Around a third of people still do not get the chance to talk about death and dying

• Using clear words like “die” and phrases like “sick enough to die” can be compassionate and helpful

• Families almost always want honest information when it is offered gently and with choice

• Precise, honest language enables people to make vital last‑minute decisions and connections

• Health professionals only get one chance to “get it right” in these conversations

• Key message: be brave but gentle, and invite people into honest conversations about what matters most

Resource

• David Oliver: What to say when patients are “sick enough to die” 

• David Oliver: Public misunderstanding, myths, and misinformation can hamper good end-of-life care 

• Better End of Life Report 2024 

• Hope for the Best Plan for the Rest 

• Death of an Ordinary Man by Sarah Perry

• The Safari Concept 

Bio

Dani Ayre

Dani is Matron and Lead Nurse for Palliative Care currently working at Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital. She has over 15 years’ experience in Palliative and End-of-Life Care (PEoLC). She previously worked in Gibraltar for over 8 years, implementing and leading a Hospice Outreach Service for the community of Gibraltar. She has also worked in the community in Palliative care and Long Term conditions and briefly in the acute sector. 

Dani has furthered her knowledge throughout her career by achieving a Distinction in her PG Certificate at Masters level in Palliative Medicine and completed 2 further Masters modules in leadership and education in Palliative care. She is passionate about raising awareness and educating on Palliative care and the importance of Advance care Planning  not only to Health care professionals and the general public.

Clare Fuller

Clare is a Registered General Nurse and has focused her career in Palliative and End of Life Care (EoLC) working clinically in hospices, providing clinical support and education in the acute setting and nationally to deliver the Gold Standards Framework Acute and Primary Care programme. Clare holds an MSc in Specialist and Advanced Health Care and in 2025 was proud to be part of the Parliamentary Palliative and End of Life Care Commission.

Clare has worked strategically in a CCG focusing on delivering the Workforce element of the General Practice Forward View and as a CQC End of Life Care Specialist Advisor.

In 2019 Clare founded Speak For Me which provides Advance Care Planning Education, Lasting Power of Attorney Consultation and support for people facing a life changing illness. Clare advocates for proactive Advance Care Planning and is host of the podcast Conversations About Advance Care Planning.